An Open Letter to my Firstborn on His First Day of Work

Dear Son,

There have been few times in your life I have greeted with anxiety.

The first was your birth.  The anxiety I felt upon leaving you in the NICU while I went home to recuperate from your emergency delivery has not been matched yet.  I hope I never feel that way again.

The second was your entrance into early adulthood at the age of 13.  Your first birthday I took in stride, not worrying too much about your future.  As your 13th neared, I wondered how I would let go and allow you to mature without micro-managing your transition.  The last few months leading up to that day caused much introspection and careful consideration.

Now you embark on a new phase of life.  One that I pray over constantly.  One that requires me to release you into the ungodly world.

I have educated you at home because I didn't want the enemy to have a say in your education before you were mature enough to handle his attacks.  I took my role as your God ordained guardian seriously, pushing you at times like a mother bird would knock a fledgling from the nest.  All the while I have watched cautiously trying to maintain balance between allowing you to make mistakes and rescuing you when your lack of wisdom would cause too much harm.

We both know I haven't excelled at times.  For instance, the time when you were rough housing on your bunk bed with your buddies, resulting in a fall and a broken foot.  We both know that I made you walk a mile on that foot, not realizing it was actually broken, unwilling to listen to your complaints.  I've already apologized for that and hope that you now see it in a humorous light.

Regardless, I have tried to keep you from attacks on your self esteem from ill-tempered peers.  I have tried to rescue you from humanistic brainwashing by power hungry adults.  I have tried to caution you against bodily injury by teaching you how to be adventurous but still careful.

By bits and inches I have tried to build in you the ability to overcome any obstacle in life through encouraging your trail-blazing spirit.  I have gradually lessened the number of orders I give you while increasing the number of suggestions.  I have begun the process of requiring you to take responsibility for your decisions.

And now you are in the workforce.  You will be spending hours around peers and elders who may not have the same worldview, who are not motivated by Christian love, and who will use manipulation and control to satisfy their selfish desires.  These people will not understand why you won't sacrifice your health and well being for a few minutes of chemical pleasure.  They will not understand why you are not interested in illicit talk and avoid sensual imagery.  As it says in 1 Corinthians 2:14, they will not understand your motivation because it is foolishness to them.  They cannot understand it because they see through carnal eyes.

Unlike the teachers and mentors you have had, your employer is not interested in your growth and development except where it brings in a profit.  The end goal of your company is not to nourish and feed you.  It is not to ensure that you are healthy or fulfilled in life.  The goal of your company is to make a profit.  They have merely hired you because they need another able bodied young man to help do the grunt-work.

In closing, I say this.  Keep your eyes on Christ.  Make it your goal each day to serve Him.  Be an example of the believers.  Let them know you're a Christian by your love.  Be the best you can be by the power of God.  Don't allow the ungodly actions of your associates, seemingly without consequence, lure you away from your relationship to God.  Guard your heart, guard your eyes, guard your mind, guard your tongue.  Realize that you will receive a greater reward in heaven when you overcome.

Above all, I love you.  I'm proud of you.
Your mother

Self Talk (another exercise)

Stupid Brain!!! Why, oh why, must you keep me up all night with your excessive thought?

Ok, so perhaps the caffeine didn't help either. But why can't Caffeine wake my body up along with my brain? Am I broken or something? It seems that my body is not affected by caffeine at all, while my brain takes to it like a cow to grass.

So there I am laying in bed, my body protesting, "Get some sleep, I'm exhausted!" Meanwhile, my brain remains blissfully ignorant. Or perhaps it's more willfull disobedience.

I was lying there for hours, waiting, willing, wishing for you to go to sleep. To stop your ramblings. I just wanted to be fresh for the new day. Closing my eyes and willing my body to rest even if my mind wasn't listening, didn't really work out very well.

What is it about that state between tired and awake that keeps me in bed? I mean, I suppose if my brain was that alert I could have gotten up and done some work. But because my body was so exhausted, I couldn't muster up the energy to rise from bed. And so I laid there.

Then, my mom's voice starts playing in my head... or maybe it's God... sometimes I mix them up. (I mean, I know my mom isn't God, people! It's just that God's advice and my mom's advice tend to overlap.) "Why don't you try praying."

Well, for once, that didn't work as well as I hoped. I started down my mental list. And still you persisted. For a scatterbrain, you sure seem to stay on track when you want to. I started with my family as usual, going down the list one couple at a time. After each one you tried to drag me off track.

Finally, you were subdued. Not conquered, but at least subdued. It was a struggle, but I finally won. Of course, it didn't help that Hubby climbed into bed a few minutes later, jolting me awake again.

Christmas Activities for Older Boys

Here's how I came to write this blog... I did a google search and here were a few of my results:

 1) Christmas Crafts for kids
2) What to get a teenage boy for Christmas
3) Christmas gifts for teenagers
4) Christmas Printables
5) Christmas Party Games

What I really wanted was for some other, really smart moms out there in cyberspace to tell me how to keep my teenage son interested in spending time with his family at Christmas rather than becoming detached and bored with the festivities, or self-centered and focused on materialism.  Since I guess no one out there figured it out, I'm going to have to get creative and come up with something.

Now, keep in mind, my son is 15.  He's never liked crafts.  Although I did find an ornament idea a couple years ago that involved drilling a hole in a piece of wood.  That part seemed to interest him, but scissors and glue and glitter and crayons... forget it.

My best friends sons seem to have a bit more fun getting creative, but at 13 years old, they too, are getting a bit past the hand print turkeys and peanut butter pine cones.  So I'm brainstorming ideas for things they can do this Christmas that will be truly memorable and enjoyable for them.   

Here's what I've come up with so far

1) Hanging lights - I know some more protective parents might cringe at the thought of 13-15 year olds wielding staple guns while climbing on the roof.  I think they're quite capable, and ours are certainly tall enough.  I think letting them put up the lights and design the yard decor will give them a sense of accomplishment while encouraging their independence in a positive way.  My husband certainly doesn't like doing it, and I'm not overly fond of heights... so I think while the younger kids are applying pom-poms to Popsicle sticks these young men can be wiring the front yard with electricity.

2) Setting up the Christmas tree - Last year my son grew tired of hanging ornaments pretty quickly.  If we end up getting a live one this year, he can have the fun of sawing off portions of trunk to fit our ceiling height and then going over it with clippers to shape it up right.  Even if we end up setting up our pre-lit artificial tree, he'll probably still find it a lot more invigorating than deciding which hand-made crocheted snowflake looks best next to the sequined musical note ornament.

3) Preparing the New-Years Bonfire - This one may not be applicable to everyone, but here in South Florida we like to ring in the new year with a nice marshmallow roast around our fire pit.  Since they don't have to chop wood all year like boys did 100 years ago, they might relish the opportunity to wield an axe.  Not to mention, they'll probably be pretty proud of their biceps afterward.

4) Making tin can luminaries - I remember doing this as a teenager.  I also remember my brothers really enjoying it.  I'll have to save some good sized cans.  I think it will be worth the hassle of washing chili residue out if he gets to bang a nail through a piece of tin.  He also might get a tiny kick out of lighting the candles, as it deals with more fire.

Well, that's the best I can do.  If any of you, smarter, moms out there already have a list, send it my way.  I'm all for conglomeration on these things.

There is Hope

Well, the day has finally arrived.  Or I suppose I should say "season."  I have been a parent for 15 years, and I am finally baking with my children (without losing my mind, or ending up with boogers in the frosting).

So let me encourage you, mothers of little ones.  They do grow up.  They don't stay little and incompetent forever.  Some day, you will be able to recreate the Norman Rockwell moments with your children.

My children are now 15, 10, 8, and (as of tomorrow) 4.  I finally am in a place where I get a full nights sleep about 80% of the year.  Exceptions include bouts of sickness and the occasional nightmare.  I don't have to change diapers or worry about where the closest bathroom is at any given intersection on my errand runs.  My youngest still has the occasional accident, but overall she is unbelievably good at going potty in a toilet without needing my help the whole time.  I can even send her with a sibling at times if it's necessary.

My 15 year old is now old enough to babysit his sisters.  I can't even begin to describe the bliss of being able to run to the store for a bit while he holds down the fort.  I have to say that right now I am really reaping the rewards of being consistent and down-right hard nosed when he was younger.  Be encouraged, young mommies.  If you stick to your guns, grit your teeth when it starts getting hairy, and stay consistent with them, someday you'll be able to walk out the door without them in tow and be assured that the house will still be standing when you get back (and you won't be getting a call from the ER).

I know that it's exhausting.  I know that they don't know when to shut-up.  I know that if you hear one more complaint about dinner you're going to smack some... thing.  I know how difficult it can be to punish them AGAIN for the same thing.  I know that its nauseating when your friends without children brag about all the sleep they got when daylight savings ended, while you were up at the crack of dawn because your little one's alarm clock doesn't run on analog or digital.

So let me ease your weary mind.  Someday they will be older.  I know you're getting lots of advice to cherish them while their young.  If you're like me, you're probably starting to feel guilty about not appreciating their starry-eyed wonder while simultaneously visualizing how to make a strait jacket look cute.  The great thing is, when they're old enough to start doing fun things you'll still have a good ten years left with them.

Sure, they may not say "pasghetti," or do silly dances to the music playing over the loudspeakers at the mall.  They may be too tall for the play-place at McDonalds, or two gangly to keep on your lap while you read them a book.  But you'll still have plenty of moments to cherish with them, and those moments will start to get closer and closer together.

I hope this encourages you.  I hope that you can take a deep breath as you listen to the silence of your little ones getting into mischief (because if you've read this far, they're either sleeping, or getting into something), and realize that "this too shall pass."

P.S. The Chocolate Cupcakes with Nutella Frosting were delicious.  :)

The Next 12 days of Thanksgiving

In my last post I wrote twelve things I'm thankful for.  They were intended to be one for each day of the month thus far.

Here are my next 12 things.

Day 13: I'm thankful for being able to share in the joy of children coming home from college.  I keep reading posts from friends whose children were far away, coming home for the holiday.  Even though my children aren't at that stage yet, it's still fun to join in the excitement

Day 14: I'm thankful for the beauty of God's creation.  Several of my friends have posted pictures of rainbows on their Facebook walls.  Not to mention, the weather here in South Florida has been delightful.

Day 15: I'm thankful for brothers who taught me not to be a sissy.  Thanks to them I may enjoy being a woman, but I don't have to be afraid of anything.

Day 16: I'm thankful for a body that works (most of the time).  I'm thankful that I don't have to deal with major diseases, and my heart goes out to those who do.  I pray that all of my friends will be cancer free, healed of MS, Fibromyalgia, Lupus, or any other chronic condition and living life to the fullest.

Day 17: I'm thankful for experiences I wouldn't have paid for but get to enjoy for free... like tickets to a Miami Heat game that were free.

Day 18: I'm thankful for strong willed children, and the excitement they bring to my life.  I don't always like the struggle of training them, but I love their passion and resolve.

Day 19: I'm thankful for homeschool friends who I can share the load of teaching with.  I'm thankful for students who love to read, and contribute their thoughts and opinions in my literature class.  I'm also thankful for those who don't love to read, and challenge me to inspire them.

Day 20: I'm thankful for my wonderful mother (today is her birthday)

Day 21: I'm thankful for being able to spend time in the kitchen with my children.  I was able to teach my son how to make bread.  Hannah has also shown an interest in cooking this year which has resulted in many stress free meals.

Day 22: I'm thankful for opportunities to care for others.  Sharing a meal with a friend who's just had a baby, or a difficult surgery.  I'm glad I have friends who are willing to allow others to bless them.

Day 23: I'm thankful for opportunities to make a little extra cash.  A birthday party where I'm paid to serve, or little handmade items that were ordered are great opportunities to have a little extra spending money for the holidays.

Day 24: I'm thankful for babies I can shower with gifts.  I love shopping and sewing for little ones, especially little girls.  I'm thankful for ultrasound technology that can give me a few extra months to pile on the blessings before they enter the world.

12 days of Thanksgiving

Yes, I tend to put things off until they pile up.  So, true to my nature, here are 12 things I'm thankful for.

1) The usual, typical... family.  I love my husband, and each of the children we've had, and I'm so thankful that I have a good relationship with my siblings, parents, and all my in-laws.

2) I'm thankful for friends who are close enough to be like family to me.  I'm thankful that although all of our extended family live a minimum of twelve hours drive away, I have friends who live close-by and can celebrate birthdays and holidays with us like family.  I'm thankful that their children are like my adopted nephews and niece, and that my children are like theirs.

3) I'm thankful for my freedoms.  I'm thankful that I live in a country where I can teach my own children at home legally.  I'm also thankful that I live in a state where there aren't a lot of homeschooling regulations placed on me.

4) I'm thankful for restful trips to visit loved ones, and vacations spent with "just us".  I know that not every family has the luxury of taking very many vacations.

5) I'm thankful for pets, even though I don't have any right now.  I'm excited about being able to give them to my children when they are mature enough to handle the responsibility of taking care of another living creature.  I also love my friend's pets and that I get to love on them when I visit.

6) I'm thankful for a very nice home.  I know that not everyone gets to live in even 1500 square feet, and I have a full 2500.  I know that there are families as large as mine who are squeezed into apartments.  I'm very thankful that I can relax in plenty of space.

7) I'm thankful for warm clothes in winter and cool clothes in summer.  I'm thankful for thrift stores where I can buy children's clothes at a discount that have barely been worn.

8) I'm thankful for traditions and memories that started those traditions.  See's Candy at Christmas, going to the pumpkin patch, window shopping with my best friend after my birthday.

9) I'm thankful for creative children.  I'm thankful for little girls who love to color and cut paper and make all sorts of things out of found objects.  I'm thankful for a son who finds new and different ways to accomplish tasks.

10) I'm thankful for play dates with friends, being able to teach my daughters and their friends how to play croquet.

11) I'm thankful for variety.  I live in a country where I can get food from all over the world, and clothing in every color and style.  I can get maple candies from Vermont and chocolate from San Francisco shipped to me in south Florida.  I can decorate my home in Swedish post-modern style or British Victorian and use furniture that was actually made in those countries.

12) I'm thankful that I live in a nation that still sets one day aside to show thanks, even though many of those who celebrate don't recognize the God from whom their blessings flow.  I'm thankful that, although retailers understand that they get a lot more business by rushing the Christmas season, and downplaying our day of thanks, they haven't completely erased it from our memories or habits.

Tackling Hair Accessories

I have three daughters who share a room.  This means that every so often (I should do it once a month, but I don't) I have to go in and help re-organize all their stuff.  Today I untangled and threw away a bunch of hair accessories and once again found myself wishing I had a good way to organize them.

So I searched Pinterest, and found a few ideas.  Then I searched the internet and found a few more.  Then I decided to walk around my house and find whatever I could to morph all those ideas into something that would not require a trip to JoAnn Fabrics (which would inevitably lead to my buying more stuff that I don't need).

I found this box in my garage.

 It's one of those monster size boxes of Greek yogurt from Costco.  Did I mention I like Greek Yogurt?  I was going to plant something in it, but that's another story.

I cut down the corners to flatten it, and removed the extra cardboard layer from the corners.

Then I glued the end flaps down.
I was going to say, "hot glue," but it's technically a cool-temp hot glue gun... whatever.
Then I glued the sides down as flat as I could.
I tried taking a picture while I hot glued, but couldn't do it one handed.

This is what it looked liked with everything flattened out.  I picked this box because I figured those little depressions in the sides would come in handy later when I tried to space everything out.

Then I cut some batting just barely smaller than the size of the flattened box.
Oh, and I put the batting on the flat side, not on the side with all the layers, but it probably doesn't matter.

Then I glued fabric around the whole thing.  I glued opposite ends  first so it would stretch nice and tight.

This is what it looked like when I was done.

Then I went upstairs and went to work organizing the hair clips and head bands.
I recycled four headbands that were a bit stretched out already by just wrapping them all the way around the board.  I might go back later and put the narrow one under the wide ones, but we'll see how it works for now.

Here is my finished product.  I'll give it a week before every single one of these things is either on the floor or crammed on a shelf again.  It was fun to make though and my older girls think it looks pretty cool.

At some point I might hang it on their wall, but for now it's just going to sit on the shelf.  I might make one for each of them and put them sideways on one of the bookshelves.  Again, we'll see.

Now I have to figure out how to store the ponytail holders and the elastic headbands.  Too bad my last oatmeal can got turned into a knitters pet.  I suppose I should give the kids more chocolate milk so I can turn the can into a headband holder.