Wednesday, August 29, 2012
I started on Saturday. I have not eaten anything since. In order to maintain the fast I have been drinking fresh sqeezed lemonade, made with maple syrup, and sprinkled with cayenne pepper. The pepper actually isn't bad. It's only a tiny bit, and as long as it doesn't sit too long it's masked by the strong lemon flavor.
Today is my last day. I almost gave up, but my competitive instincts kicked in yesterday when my personal trainer said he'd never done the full five days. Growing up with a bunch of boys has honed that competitive instinct in me. I embrace it when I know it will have a positive effect.
Today I broke down. No. I didn't eat anything, but I cried. I'm pretty passionate about food, and I really enjoy cooking. I miss sitting at the dinner table with my family. I really miss entertaining myself with munchies. I could really go for some Nutella dipped Bugles right about now.
Here's how it all went down. Since today is my last day, I used my last lemons to make my last tiny pitcher of lemonade concentrate. I realized as I finished squeezing the lemons that I had run out of maple syrup the day before.
No worries. I put the lemon juice in the fridge and went to Whole Foods. I figured as long as I was out I might as well pick up the veggies I need to make the vegetable stock I'll be eating tomorrow to ease myself back onto solid food.
As soon as I got home I finished making the concentrate. Two cups of sticky sour sweetness, ready to be mixed with water as I'm ready for it.
Then I started on the vegetable stock. Any good cook knows that really good vegetable stock is a long process. If I waited till the morning, it wouldn't be finished until around lunchtime. I got the stock simmering. Then I went to the fridge for a shot of concentrate.
When I looked inside I noticed that one of my shelves wasn't on the bracket properly.
Have I mentioned that lack of food causes extreme fatigue and can dull common sense?
I fiddled with it. Sorry, but I'm one of those people who can't leave well enough alone. Before I knew it I was grabbing the glass jar of French Lemonade as it came tumbling toward me. My only thought, avoiding broken glass.
Well I saved the French lemonade, but the cold trickle soaking through my jeans alerted me to the fact that my special, non French, maple syrup infused lemonade hadn't fared as well. The little plastic pitcher had tumbled out and the lid had popped off, spilling every bit of the concentrate.
I actually said, "Crap!" out loud. This got my kids attention because Mama doesn't use that kind of language. My teenage son jumped up from his video game and came over to take a look at what could be so horrible as to induce such expletives from his mother. To my utter shock and awe he said, "I'll help clean it up."
There are plenty of moments during parenthood when you wonder if your child will ever learn manners, or kindness, or any of the virtues you try so hard to instill. Then there are those golden moments when you think maybe, just maybe you're getting through after all. He cheerfully mopped up the mess the best he could while I went up to change out my sticky pants.
I could feel the tears coming as I walked upstairs and realized I was very hungry and I needed those calories which were spread all over the kitchen floor. They were really welling up by the time I realized I was out of lemons.
This is one of those rare moments in life when you realize God really is love and you're the object of that affection. I texted my hubby and asked if he could come home early, and by early I mean about an hour and a half before he usually does. Within moments I had an answer, "Yes."
Have I mentioned that I have an amazing husband. Don't hate me. He stopped by the store on the way home and bought me more lemons. Then he sat with me a while and listened to me decompress. Then he got up and made dinner for the rest of the family.
So, even though I had a rough time, even though I almost quit, God turned my mini catastrophe into a moment of bliss.
Not to mention, my kitchen really did need to be mopped.
Posted by bethimus at 4:15 PM