Every choice we make has it's own consequences. In Economics this concept is called buyer's remorse. The idea is that when you spend your money on a particular item, you cannot simultaneously spend that same money on something else. The consequence of the choice is that you must be content with the decision you made about how to spend your money. Sometimes, depending on the vendor, you may be able to return the item and get your money back. When you are paying for a service, or if the goods are consumable, often the choice is irrevocable.
In the same sense, every one of our decisions about our family dynamic come with their own consequences. Our decision to have a single income stream creates a consequence of having less income. This may not be much of a consequence if the primary income provider has a high paying job. But if the primary income provider is barely covering essential bills, that consequence may cause us to question the wisdom of our decision.
If we choose for both parents to pursue careers, we will have a higher income, but we will have less time to handle household upkeep and build relationship with our children. If the single income stream was making it difficult to pay our bills, the second income stream may be necessary, but that does not automatically erase the impact of our lack of time for our children, and the stress created by having to juggle family bonding time with household management.
If our dual income stream is higher, we may be able to outsource some of the household management. We could hire a cleaning service, or pay for lawn maintenance. But we still have a limited number of waking hours that we can spend with our children, and the majority of those hours will be spent keeping up with school activities.
The choices don't end there. If we decide to put the children in private school, we may not have a choice about that second income, as the price for private education is astronomical even with sibling discounts and scholarships. If our income is too high, we may not even qualify for scholarships, and with four children to enroll, we're looking at a pretty stiff consequence for the decision to utilize private school.
We may decide to enroll them in public school. After all, our taxes pay for public education whether we use it or not. A second income stream may not be necessary since the only real cost to us would be for uniforms and school supplies. However, we would have to pay the consequence of our children being exposed to information we may not agree with. Even if we agreed with everything they are taught, we would have very little time for family bonding. By the time they get home from school and do their homework, there is little time left in the evenings to just be a family. Then, there's the pressure to participate in extra curricular activities that uses up even more valuable time.
Personally, we chose to homeschool our children. The consequence of this decision was that I have never been available to bring in a second income stream. But our family has a very close bond, and our children love Jesus. My husband has been a very good provider and we haven't struggled very much financially. I've never really been frustrated by the consequences of our decision.
Some consequences are immediate. If I eat a snack while I'm making dinner, I won't be hungry when I sit down to eat. Some consequences may take years to show up. Anyone who's listened to "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin can attest to the long term effects of prioritizing a career over time spend with family. Some consequences are negligible. Deciding to pay a few cents extra for milk at my local Publix instead of driving a bit farther to pick it up at Aldi isn't really going to impact my finances. Some consequences are catastrophic. Allowing someone to spend time alone with my child who may end up molesting them would be devastating for everyone for years.
What are the consequences of the decisions you've made? Are you satisfied with your decisions enough to be at peace with your consequences? What are some consequences you may not feel for a while? What are some decisions you are confident about? What is a decision you've made in the past that you wish you had never made?
God has promised to work every circumstance for our good when we are connected to Him. This should bring peace to our minds as we consider decisions we've made in the past that came with regrettable consequences. Sometimes the consequences we are facing are due to the decisions other people have made without our consent. God can still use those consequences for our benefit as long as we are connected to Him.
God also told us to be wise as serpents and harmless as doves. Even if we've made bad decisions in the past, we can determine to try to make the best decisions for our future. The best way to ensure we are making the best decisions with the least damaging consequences is three-fold. First, we can surround ourselves with godly advisors. These are people who have been in the faith longer, or even those who have lived through similar circumstances and have come out on the other side with valuable experience. Second, we can utilize the guidebook God has given us. The Bible is invaluable when it comes to providing directions. It is profitable for so many aspects of decision making, and comes with a guarantee that it will help us become the best version of ourselves as we follow it's direction. Finally, we must strive to develop our ability to hear the voice of our Creator as he communicates with us. If we do not ignore those "gut feelings" we get they can turn into some powerful communications for our safety and the safety of our families.
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