God has been speaking to me a lot lately. Funny how that works: we decide to sit down and listen and He actually has something to say. Just kidding, of course. I’m a pretty typical part of my culture. I live in the USA and my main problems are contentment and health.

Contentment. I have battled with this one for a very long time. I don’t really remember a time in my life when I didn’t want more than I had. Because I live in the USA I have access to more “stuff” than most people in other countries. Although I would consider myself a middle class citizen, from what I’ve learned of other cultures, I would probably be considered a blue-blood in many other countries. And yet, despite this abundance of wealth and access to culture, I still find it so easy to complain and focus on all the things I don’t have.

Of course, I’m not talking about the things of God…. It seems as if I find my spiritual walk boring, and I don’t really seek to know more about the “things above.” Although I know deep down that I should seek to be discontent with my relationship with God, I find it all too easy to say “I know enough,” or, “I have enough” of the things of God. I can say in my rational mind that I want to know God more, but my daily walk shows that I don’t really want it. I know from past experience that when I seek the things of God I find greater peace and rest, but yet I still fall into complacency.

Health. Americans in general are some of the most obese in the world. I fall into that category, and like my fellow Americans I have turned to everything but God to correct this. This is what God has been speaking to me about, because in my frustration this is what I’ve been asking Him about. He has been speaking to me about trust. Do I trust Him to keep me healthy or am I leaning on my own understanding.

There are a myriad of articles available to anyone who looks about health and fitness, and, believe me I have looked. And yet, it seems the more I look the more I am confused. This person says this and another person of equal education and experience says the opposite. Remember the old butter vs. margarine battle? This is what I have come up against, and in the end it has all led back to a stark realization that I am weak and frail, and I must trust my creator to know what is best for me.

In order to do this, however, I must learn to hear His voice. I must tune in and really work my spiritual muscles to know the difference between my flesh (cravings), the enemy (flawed information), and the Spirit (truth). I am learning that often the Spirit will lead in a direction that is against the norm. Sometimes it means exercising, and sometimes it means just being at rest. Sometimes it means watching my calorie intake and keeping everything written down, and sometimes it means not stressing out about eating at a restaurant. Every time I try to take my health back into my own hands, disaster awaits. Every time I entrust it to my all-wise Creator, the result is peace and health.

So this is what I’m learning: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:26-31 NIV)

Disney World on a Diet

Disclaimer: this article is not approved by Walt Disney Corporation and they do not back any of the information included. This is one woman's personal opinion, and Disney Corp cannot be held responsible for any of it. The same goes for Rice Dream, Clif Bar, Sargento, and Babybel.

So I'm headed to Disney World again. I'm very excited about it. I can't wait to see the expressions of wonder and awe on my children's faces as the experience the magic of Disney. Amelia will be experiencing it for the first time.

However, behind the scenes building in intensity, is a fear that I'll repeat history and gain 10 lbs while I'm there, thus making a costly "fat clothes" budget deficit. I don't want that to happen. I'm so concerned about this particular circumstance that I've been looking for information all over the internet about ways to stay on your diet while at Disney without lugging around a cooler all day.

The closest I came to finding good information about this is a blog written by a Southern California mom on the subject. However, her advice was tailored to the California parks. Since we already have reservations at several of the table service restaurants in the Florida parks, her advice doesn't quite fit what I need.

Her blog, however, inspired me to not only dig out the information I need for myself, but to post it here for all to see. I didn't even bother to look up information on how many grams of fat or carbs were in a particular food, but rather I tried to keep my information purely to a calorie count. While there were a couple of holes in my plan (we're eating at two buffets with constantly changing menus), and there was no nutrition information provided by Disney, I used some common sense and a couple of external sites to put together a menu for the week that wouldn't throw me off completely.

Side note: Although I am pretty upset about the passing of the healthcare bill (or should we call it a government power grab against the will of the people), I hope that a few of the reforms force Disney to start posting more information on the nutrition of their foods. As one blogger put it, it's pretty ridiculous that Disney pushes the idea of the Princess/Prince with the perfect physique, yet doesn't provide reasonable nutrition to help our children attain that healthy goal.

There are a few things to keep in mind while looking through this menu.

1) My family tends to prefer a light breakfast and we like to sleep in. Therefore, we usually bring cheap easy breakfast items along with us. These include: juice and milk boxes, individual boxes of cereal, granola bars, pop tarts, and instant oatmeal packets (using the hotel coffee maker to heat the water).

For breakfast this time around I plan to bring my own homemade granola. It averages around 250 calories per 1/2 cup. I LOVE granola, so I eat it almost every morning. To keep things exciting I change the recipe slightly each time using different dried fruits and nuts. I also have an aversion to dairy (although I've never been diagnosed, I tend to get PND whenever I eat/drink too much). I will be bringing Enriched Original Rice Dream which measures at 120 calories per cup.

2) Although I don't plan to bring a cooler into the park each day, I will be bringing a morning snack and an afternoon snack. Whether or not I actually eat this food will depend on when we're planning to eat lunch or dinner, and what time we get up that day. The morning snack will be a Mini Cliff Bar. These little baby's have a whole lot of vitamins and I usually eat them in place of a multivitamin each day.

The second snack will vary between apples or oranges and a serving of cheese. This should be sufficient to curb my cravings for ice cream and popcorn in the middle of the day. Sargento seems to have the lowest low-calorie string cheese stick, and since I want maximize the foods I can eat from the Disney experience, this is the one I'm going for. I also really enjoy Mini Babybel Light.

3) I do not plan on eating an entire plate of food as presented at any of the sit-down restaurants. Portions tend to run much larger than an average person should eat in one sitting. I'm know, personally, I tend to feel tired and sluggish if I over eat, so not over filling my belly will be a pretty high priority.

I also plan on only drinking water unsweetened iced tea or a diet soda with my meals. Why drink your calories when you can eat them?

That said, I will now post the menus (2 meals and 1 snack) for each day I'll be there.

Sunday: At the Magic Kingdom

Lunch at Cinderella's Royal Table - Pan Seared Salmon, Jasmine Rice, Asian Vegetable Slaw and Garlic-Ginger Sauce: I figured 370 calories for the salmon, 205 for the Asian Slaw, and 140 for the rice.

Dinner at Columbia Harbour House - Vegetarian chili with a side of coleslaw. This site provided the recipe for the vegetarian chili that is served, and I figured about 2 cups of chili would be around 372 calories. Coleslaw is traditionally about 147 calories per half cup.

Dessert - A diet coke float. Diet coke is 0 calories, and 1/2 cup of soft serve ice cream is about 191 calories.

Including breakfast and both snacks, the caloric total for this day would be about 1610 calories

Monday: At Disney's Hollywood Studios

Lunch at Starring Rolls Cafe - Whole Wheat Veggie Pita with no sauce, and Fresh fruit. The veggies are virtually calorie free, the pita is 74 calories, and an average serving of mixed fruit is 75 calories. Even if I end up putting a bit of mustard or other low calorie topping on it, this is probably the healthiest meal I could eat anywhere in the resort.

Dinner at Mama Melroses - Spaghetti Fra Diavolo. I'm expecting the Fra Diavolo to be about 335 Calories, and the Spaghetti (or at least the amount I'll eat) about 200.

Dessert - Mickey Ice Cream Bar. This should run around 330 Calories

Including breakfast and both snacks, the caloric total for this day would be about 1604 calories

Tuesday: At Epcot

Lunch at The Electric Umbrella - Chicken Nuggets with Apple Slices. Depending on the number of nuggets, I'm guessing around 235 calories. The Apple slices are 40 calories per pouch.

Dinner at Les Chefs de France - This one I just had to copy and paste. Filet de boeuf grille, sauce au poivre noir Gratin Dauphinois et haricots verts. The Tenderloin is about 202 calories The potato gratin and Green beans should be about 171 calories.

Dessert - We seem to have a tradition to eat funnel cake while watching the fireworks. So a Funnel cake with strawberry topping should be about 391 calories.

Including breakfast and both snacks, the caloric total for this day would be about 1619 calories

Wednesday: At Magic Kingdom

Lunch at Crystal Palace: Since this is a buffet, I'll be depending on my ability to steer clear of things that look too creamy and fill up on lots of veggies. That being said, I estimate I'll probably eat about 500 calories at this meal.

Dinner at Cosmic Ray's: Rotisserie Chicken with Mashed potatoes and seasonal veggies. I'm not planning to eat any skin or dark meat, so the chicken should be about 170 calories. The potatoes and veggies should be about 264 calories.

Dessert - I'm going to head over the ice cream parlor on Main street and get a kids ice cream scoop with chocolate mickey ears. This should be about 211 Calories.

Including breakfast and both snacks, the caloric total for this day would be about 1735 calories

Thursday: at the Hotel (this time it's Port Orleans Riverside)

We generally take a day off during the week to give the kids some down-time. We've noticed that if we go to the parks every day they can't handle the stimulation and eventually have a meltdown. Of course, as they get older it's less necessary, but since we have a 1 year old, we are DEFINITELY taking the day off. (Yes, I realize it's kind of ironic that we have to take a day off from our vacation).

Lunch at the Riverside Mill Food Court: I'll be having a salad. If I include some grilled chicken and regular ranch dressing I'm figuring it will be about 279 Calories.

Dinner at Boma - This is another buffet. It's located at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. My husband went there during a conference and has been trying to take the family there for the last several years since. I'm figuring I'll probably eat about 500 calories of food for this meal.

Dessert - Back to the food court for this one. A individual serving of Apple pie is about 250 calories. If I'm even awake for this one, I think it's a good choice.

Including breakfast and both snacks, the caloric total for this day would be about 1609 calories

Friday: At Animal Kingdom and Epcot

We've been trying to get into Le Cellier for a long time and when the opportunity came up to get in we jumped at it. However, since our reservation is at 2:00 this days schedule is a bit off.

Lunch at Harambe Fruit Market - put simply, I'll be having apples with caramel. I'm guessing at about 90 Calories.

Meal at Le Cellier -Because of the odd timing I'm not sure if I'll be choosing from the lunch menu or the dinner menu. Since I'm not likely to enjoy this again for a long time, I'm going to splurge. From the lunch menu I'll order the NY Strip Steak. If I eat half the meat the calorie count should be about 381 for the steak and 131 for the potatoes. If I eat there for dinner I'll get the Prime rib. If I eat about 6 oz of the meat (I'm guessing this is about half) the calories will jump to 520 Calories.

Dinner at Yakitori House - Teriyaki Chicken. This should be about 440 calories. I'm not even sure I'll be hungry enough to eat a meal at this point though.

Dessert - A chocolate chip cookie. Two normal cookies are about 100 calories. I figure this is a good estimate of one cookie from Disney.

Including breakfast and both snacks, the caloric total for this day would be about 1751 calories (if I end up eating Prime Rib)

We'll be heading home on Saturday, so I won't post the menu for that day. I will say I'll plan on eating a salad at some fast food place on the way.

I'm sure some of you will read this and think, "This lady has a screw loose." But I hope others will be able to use this as encouragement to look for better options while they are enjoying the Disney resorts. I suppose I should promise at this point to give everyone an update on how well I did. I'm not promising anything because I am usually scrambling when we get back from vacation to get everyone back on a reasonable schedule, as well as getting caught up on vacation laundry. So we'll see.

Spinning Wheel

So, I bought a spinning wheel.

Not just any wheel mind you, but a giant one.

Of course, the purchase of such a piece of history necessitated some research. This is what I've found.

This particular type of wheel is called a Great Wheel, or more commonly a Walking Wheel. This is because the spinner has to stand while using it. It has a few parts that need to be replaced or fixed. There are no hallmarks to hint at it's age. For all I know it could have been made in the 80's by some carpenter who liked old things as much as I do. There are plans available to make them. I know it was sitting in this lady's antique shop for at least 4 years before I came along.

The other thing this purchase necessitated was all the extra things to go along with spinning. I bought some wool roving (wool that is already prepared to spin) that was dyed a dark aqua. I also bought some creamy white bamboo fibers to blend with the wool.

I bought carders. These are kind of like giant slicker brushes (those pet brushes with the bent bristles). You're supposed to brush the fibers with them so that all the fibers lay the same direction to make them easy to spin.

One thing the wheel was missing, and probably the easiest thing to replace, was the drive band. This is the band that goes around the wheel and the spindle to make everything spin in unison. I bought one online and quickly realized it's just a big piece of cotton crochet thread. Next time I'll just buy a spool of the stuff from my local craft store. I jerry-rigged (sp?) a drive band for it while I was waiting for the one I ordered and spun some yarn. I definitely need to practice more.

I also joined a spinning forum online. It's called Spin-off. The people there have been so helpful so far.

I guess that's all for now. Back to work.

Genesis 3-4

See my previous post here for notes about interpretation and my process thus far.

Chapter 3:

¹ The serpent was clever, more clever than any wild animal God had made. He spoke to the Woman: "Do I understand that God told you not to eat from any tree in the garden?"

Interesting to note here that, according to Chapter 2, God didn't tell the woman directly about the ban. He told the man, put him to work, then created the woman. The man must have told the woman about it.

^2-3 The Woman said to the serpent, "Not at all. We can eat from the trees in the garden. It's only about the tree in the middle of the garden that God said, 'Don't eat from it; don't even touch it or you'll die.'"

She trusts Man implicitly.

^4-5 The serpent told the Woman, "You won't die. God knows that the moment you eat from that tree, you'll see what's really going on. You'll be just like God, knowing everything, ranging all the way from good to evil."

Not only is the serpent questioning God's validity, but he's also questioning the man's. He is trying to prey on a woman's natural desire for knowledge. Apparently women are always on the lookout for more information. Hey wait, that's what I'm doing. Well, this is still pre-sin, so it must be ok to look for more information, as long as we don't go too far.

⁶ When the Woman saw that the tree looked like good eating and realized what she would get out of it—she'd know everything!—she took and ate the fruit and then gave some to her husband, and he ate.

So, she at the fruit. She gave it to the man. He apparently followed her lead because he doesn't seem to question her about it. Did he even know what he was eating? Was the fruit of this specific tree so different from all the others that he would be able to tell by looking at it what he was about to do. She obviously wanted him to be all-knowing too.

⁷ Immediately the two of them did "see what's really going on"—saw themselves naked! They sewed fig leaves together as makeshift clothes for themselves.

Suddenly, after they disobeyed they were filled with shame. They didn't want to look at each other anymore so they covered up hoping it would make everything better. They were embarrassed.

So far, there has been no indication of a leader. God hasn't technically appointed anyone. The woman is still equal in the eyes of the man. The only indication of any sort of leadership is the fact that the man recognizes that he was created first. It certainly doesn't keep him from following his companions lead as he eats the fruit along with her. They both worked together to make the clothes.

⁸ When they heard the sound of God strolling in the garden in the evening breeze, the Man and his Wife hid in the trees of the garden, hid from God.

⁹ God called to the Man: "Where are you?"

When God asks a question He is not seeking information. He's simply giving the man an opportunity to own up.

I notice that He doesn't call the woman. Apparently there's a hint here to how God sees his creations in light of their sex. He sees man as the first-born. Man seems to be the one God goes to first. I don't know if I would extrapolate this into a doctrine about men already being put in charge. Maybe it's my own blinders that keep me from seeing it. If there were a situation with my own children I would go to the oldest to find out what was going on. Male or female, it doesn't matter. It's just that the older kid is more likely to know what's happening.

¹⁰ He said, "I heard you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked. And I hid."

¹¹ God said, "Who told you you were naked? Did you eat from that tree I told you not to eat from?"

¹² The Man said, "The Woman you gave me as a companion, she gave me fruit from the tree, and, yes, I ate it."

This definitely sounds like an excuse to me. It also sounds very child-like. Even though historically we've been told that Adam and Eve were formed as adults, this kind of thought process makes me wonder. I can see a kid telling his dad, "It was Eve's fault." He highlights the woman's companionship.

Man: "You made me a friend and I trusted her and I didn't see anything wrong with eating it since she's my best friend and my helper."

God said to the Woman, "What is this that you've done?"

Now God talks to the woman.

¹³ "The serpent seduced me," she said, "and I ate."

Woman: "That snake creature You made told me I could eat the fruit and I believed him. He made it seem like such a good idea."

I guess now that she can see the difference between good and evil she understands the nature of seduction. She realizes she was tricked by her own sin-less desires into doing something wrong. Now she can't trust her own judgement, let alone anyone else's.

^14-15 God told the serpent:
"Because you've done this, you're cursed,
cursed beyond all cattle and wild animals,
Cursed to slink on your belly
and eat dirt all your life.
I'm declaring war between you and the Woman,
between your offspring and hers.
He'll wound your head,
you'll wound his heel."

God doesn't have any conversation with the snake. He didn't put the same God-like nature into the animals, so He doesn't see them as worthy of conversation. He just curses the snake without letting it explain. From now on, all generations of mankind will try to kill snakes.

Further study of the Bible will refer back to this as a prophecy about Jesus, but for now I'm reading it as if it were my first time, so I have to take it at face value.

¹⁶ He told the Woman:
"I'll multiply your pains in childbirth;
you'll give birth to your babies in pain.
You'll want to please your husband,
but he'll lord it over you."

Now he moves back to the woman. Interesting to note that He still doesn't seem to be making a point about anyone's authority. He tell woman about all the pain she's causing herself. You'll have to have a lot of pain when you have babies. You'll try to make your husband happy, but he won't appreciate it, and he'll use your desire to his own advantage.

This really seems to point to the question I had earlier about the nature of "helping" mankind. It would seem that our job as women is to help them in every way, but to expect that in their fallen, sinful state, men will try to take advantage of our help.

^17-19 He told the Man:
"Because you listened to your wife
and ate from the tree
That I commanded you not to eat from,
'Don't eat from this tree,'
The very ground is cursed because of you;
getting food from the ground
Will be as painful as having babies is for your wife;
you'll be working in pain all your life long.
The ground will sprout thorns and weeds,
you'll get your food the hard way,
Planting and tilling and harvesting,
sweating in the fields from dawn to dusk,
Until you return to that ground yourself, dead and buried;
you started out as dirt, you'll end up dirt."

God the man that He told him not to eat of the tree. He says that the man should have viewed God as the one in charge, not the woman. Here's where the battle of the sexes begins. Men and women were equals. They saw each other as equals and they knew that God was in charge. Woman decided to overrule God's authority and Man followed right along with it. Now man will have a day to day job that will be just as hard as a woman's. Instead of simple maintenance of the earth, Man now has to deal with rot and ruin.

²⁰ The Man, known as Adam, named his wife Eve because she was the mother of all the living.

²¹ God made leather clothing for Adam and his wife and dressed them.

Here's where we find out that these two have names. God named Adam, and Adam named Eve. The first death occured at this point. God killed one (or possibly two) of his animals to make long lasting clothes for His God-like creations. I guess He knew that they weren't going to want to look at each other's nakedness anymore.

²² God said, "The Man has become like one of us, capable of knowing everything, ranging from good to evil. What if he now should reach out and take fruit from the Tree-of-Life and eat, and live forever? Never—this cannot happen!"

This verse seems to validate what the snake said. The snake wasn't lying. He was just trying to get Eve to see her own desires as more important than trust in her companion.

^23-24 So God expelled them from the Garden of Eden and sent them to work the ground, the same dirt out of which they'd been made. He threw them out of the garden and stationed angel-cherubim and a revolving sword of fire east of it, guarding the path to the Tree-of-Life.

He still hasn't officially put Adam in charge. He simply told them they can't have access to eternal life in this state. He hasn't told them here about the possibility of heaven. At least it isn't recorded in the Bible.

Chapter 4:

¹ Adam slept with Eve his wife. She conceived and had Cain. She said, "I've gotten a man, with God's help!"

² Then she had another baby, Abel.

Eve starts to live out her curse. She not only follows the ideal intent of her creator (re-produce), but has to deal with the consequences of her actions. She has children, but God helps her bring them into the world. I can't even imagine what it must have been like to have the first baby.

Now Cain and Abel have an argument, Cain kills Abel and is marked by God so that although he is cursed he cannot be murdered.

^17-18 Cain slept with his wife. She conceived and had Enoch. He then built a city and named it after his son, Enoch.

Where could Cain have gotten his wife. Adam and Eve were the only ones alive to begin with. There must be more information not written verbatim in the Bible about Adam and Eve. I think Cain must have married one of his sisters.

So far the Bible seems to only be recording male children. Wives aren't given names thus far (except Eve). Only son's names are recorded. I don't have an answer for this yet.

^19-22 Lamech married two wives, Adah and Zillah. Adah gave birth to Jabal, the ancestor of all who live in tents and herd cattle. His brother's name was Jubal, the ancestor of all who play the lyre and flute. Zillah gave birth to Tubal-Cain, who worked at the forge making bronze and iron tools. Tubal-Cain's sister was Naamah.

Here are three specific women recorded. The first mention of polygamy. I would have to draw some conclusions here. God made one man and one woman in the beginning. For His ideal creation He knew that men only need one helper/companion. Since the fall, though it seems that one of the ways men "Lord it over" their wives is by getting more than one. Why would a man need more than one wife. If her job is to be his helper/companion, then one should be enough. Maybe men were already growing tired of how hard their work was. Their line of thinking could have been, "If I have one woman who's willing to help me out and do stuff to please me, then two women will make my life a lot easier."

I still haven't seen a specific mention of God putting the husband in authority, so I would have to draw the conclusion that Men have told the woman that they are supposed to be in charge (Lording it over) and women must have capitulated (as Eve believed Adam about eating of the tree).

I don't understand why the sister is mentioned here. I'm completely stumped. It must be important, but I'm just drawing a blank.

^23-24 Lamech said to his wives,
Adah and Zillah, listen to me;
you wives of Lamech, hear me out:
I killed a man for wounding me,
a young man who attacked me.
If Cain is avenged seven times,
for Lamech it's seventy-seven!

Ok, so Lamech decides to usurp God's authority and declare his own murderous act ok, since Cain (his great-great-great-grandfather) was absolved by God. God never steps in and condones this.

^25-26 Adam slept with his wife again. She had a son whom she named Seth. She said, "God has given me another child in place of Abel whom Cain killed." And then Seth had a son whom he named Enosh.

So far, the only reference to sex is in the context of reproduction. Eve views Seth as a replacement of Abel.

That's when men and women began praying and worshiping in the name of God.

So I'm up to chapter 4 and I don't see where people get the idea that Adam was in charge from creation. I see men and women as equals, but I see a curse that women will want to please their husbands and men will abuse this desire.

Genesis 1-2

You can read the 4 chapters for yourself if you want. It will add validity to my commentary.

First rule of Bible interpretation... Context, context, context. You have to interpret what you read based not only on the passage it is in, but by the whole overtone of the Bible. I'm going to start from the mindset that I have never read the Bible before. I am trying to look at the pages as a new convert would. Someone who doesn't have a long history of mentors trying to tell her what each verse is supposed to mean.

That said, I'm going to isolate specific portions of scripture as they pertain specifically to women, and I'm going to paraphrase the rest of it.

Chapter 1:

First, God creates everything. On the sixth day here's what He does.

^26-28 God spoke: "Let us make human beings in our image, make them
reflecting our nature
So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea,
the birds in the air, the cattle,
And, yes, Earth itself,
and every animal that moves on the face of Earth."
God created human beings;
he created them godlike,
Reflecting God's nature.
He created them male and female.
God blessed them:
"Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge!
Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air,
for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth."

^29-30 Then God said, "I've given you
every sort of seed-bearing plant on Earth
And every kind of fruit-bearing tree,
given them to you for food.
To all animals and all birds,
everything that moves and breathes,
I give whatever grows out of the ground for food."
And there it was.

In this part of the passage God is talking about humans. He's not isolating male from female. The same information applies to both sexes. Humans were the last beings created. They are God-like... posessing His nature. They were given specific jobs: reproduce, take care of plants and animals, and take control of everything else in creation. They were also told to eat plants not animals.

It seems to imply that men and women are equal beings with the same role. Keep in mind, this is before any sin entered the world, so this is God's ideal setting. They are equally God like, there is no authority over each other... only equal authority under God, their creator.

Chapter 2:

God rested on the 7th Day, and then the chapter seems to make a U-turn. It goes into much greater detail about the creation of each sex.

^18-20 God said, "It's not good for the Man to be alone; I'll make him a helper, a companion." SoGod formed from the dirt of the ground all the animals of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the Man to see what he would name them. Whatever the Man called each living creature, that was its name. The Man named the cattle, named the birds of the air, named the wild animals; but he didn't find a suitable companion.

God wanted to make sure that every creature had a means of reproducing and companionship. He seems to want to drive home the point to men that they NEED women. Ideally, they are not supposed to carry out their life's work without female companionship and help. I find it interesting that he made the man do a bunch of work and follow a thought to it's logical conclusion.

God: "Ok Man, Here's what you're supposed to do. I made all these things and you have to name them."

Man: "Hmmm... these two look the same, I'll name them ---. Hey, these two look the same, also. Hey, how come everyone else gets a double, and I don't?"

Here's where I could go on a long rabbit trail about the meaning of the word "help", and how it applies to the idea of "co-dependence." Are we supposed to help by simply fetching and carrying, or does this apply to the concept of helping them become better human beings? Where is the fine line between being a helper who works alongside, and a helper who teaches a better process?

^21-22 God put the Man into a deep sleep. As he slept he removed one of his ribs and replaced it with flesh. God then used the rib that he had taken from the Man to make Woman and presented her to the Man.

I've heard teachings about why God used a rib. I find it interesting how people like to take this little section and create entire theologies about their interpretation of these two little verses. For now I'm just going to say, the fact is this: He used a part of the man to make a woman. I happen to think that it's just a continuation of the emphasis on the fact that man isn't supposed to try to do things by himself. Women should see themselves as facilitators.

^23-25 The Man said,
"Finally! Bone of my bone,
flesh of my flesh!
Name her Woman
for she was made from Man."
Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and embraces his wife. They become one flesh.
The two of them, the Man and his Wife, were naked, but they felt no shame.

Ok, so this is the ideal. Men are supposed to pair up with women and make their own unit. Women are supposed to see themselves as half of a two piece puzzle. They aren't supposed to be alone either, and they're original purpose was to "help" their male counterpart.

Also in this ideal, pre-sin situation they don't waste any energy worrying about how they look. They are completely without barriers. Nothing to hide behind, but also no reason to hide.

The start of a big study

So I read the first 4 chapters of Genesis last night.

I guess deep down I'm a rebel. I just can't seem to get over my pre-occupation with finding things out for myself. I was told the whole time I was growing up that "this verse means this" or "that verse means that." Deep down I often questioned why.

Why does it have to mean that? Who decided that a particular passage meant a particular thing, and why must we all agree with that person?

I've been questioning authority again. Wondering about my role as a Wife/Mother/Woman.

1) When I was growing up I was taught that I was to be submissive to my husband if and when I got married.

2) I was taught to submit to my pastor in my church. I was told that as a woman I would not be allowed to become a pastor, or a teacher of men. I've read books that have told me that I could be a pastor if I chose because the same verses that were interpreted by my previous mentors were supposed to mean a different thing.

3) I've heard teachings that the ONLY true calling for a woman is to be a helper to a man. This leaves a lot of single women out in the cold.

4) I've heard that as long as a woman is single, she should be under her father's authority. This leaves her forsaken once her father is dead. If her father is dead, then she's under the authority of her pastor.

5) I've heard that if a woman is divorced by her husband then she is back under her father's authority.

6) I've heard that if a woman is divorced and falls in love with another single man, they should get married to keep from sexual sin. I've also heard of fathers not allowing their previously divorced daughters to date or have any casual friendships with men because they are never to remarry.

7) I've heard and read that women are equal with men, and that the only reason for verses about submission is so that if there is an impasse there will be an order of direction. In this case the man is made into a sort of scape-goat if his decisions prove wrong.

8) I've heard that the only time a woman should have to submit to a man's leadership is in the confines of marriage.

I could continue, but I could go on and on and get very boring (unless, of course, I already have). My point is this, I'm confused. I want to know what is right. I want to feel confident and be at peace knowing that I am being a good Christian. I want to be able to teach my daughters the right role as a woman.

Of course this brings up another problem. If Adam and Eve were told not to eat of the tree of "The Knowledge of Good and Evil." Then, am I not supposed to try to figure it all out? That confuses me even more. Because there's that verse "Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not be ashamed, rightly dividing the Word of Truth." Maybe I'm misinterpreting that verse too.

So I've been praying fore God to show me what is right, and here is what He told me. (My paraphrase) "You know how to read, right? You can actually open that big book I gave you. You know, the one I took hundreds of years to write. You could actually read the pages yourself and find out what I have to say on the subject. You don't have to rely on books written by revered Scholars. I will teach you as you go."

Here's what I said back to Him (essentially). "I know, but I don't want to do all that studying and reading and searching. I want to just read what someone else to the time to study out, and just sort of know, instantly, that they have it right. I have kids to raise. I'm a homeschool mom. I don't have time right now to actually read through the whole Bible looking for information specific to my role as a woman."

God: "Ok, then... you can stay confused. I don't really want to hear your complaining."

So here I am... I read the first 4 chapters of Genesis last night. I can't guarantee I'll blog everything I learn, but hey, that's my prerogative. If you want to know what I find... you can read it for yourself.

New Books

Ok, so I decided to try reading again.

I had to give it up for a while because I just couldn't find the self-discipline to put the book down and tend to my family. I would be sucked into the reading vortex and wouldn't emerge until the book was read in completion.

I was looking for some good non-fiction to try to read at a more reasonable pace, and found this book.

http://passionatehousewives.blogspot.com/

I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I'm pretty confused about my role as a homemaker and a wife. I've definitely heard opinions in every extreme.

I've heard from people who seem to hold the view that a homemaker is essentially mindless and incapable of making rational decisions and therefore dependent on her Godly, smart, and otherwise superior husband to lead her in the way she should go. Can you hear the anger in that statement? I've also heard from people who believe that men are incompetent and that submission is more optional based on the performance of the male.

I've heard that homemaking is a glorious calling that, if done properly, will fulfill the voids in life with personal gratification, and I've experienced that housework is frustrating and nerve wracking, and children seem to get in the way far too much. I've been blissfully happy in my role, and at the point of depression bordering on a physician's intervention.

So I thought that a book like this would help me out by encouraging me in my role. I've only begun the book and I truly wish I had another trusted woman's thoughts about it. The beginning seems a bit "harsh". It reads like a rant from an angry woman.

After the first couple of introductory chapters though I seem to find the relief I was seeking. The practical advice seems down to earth and as I read it sinks into my spirit like a balm.

I would love it if some of my friends and family would read the book (it's not that long) and give me their opinion on it. I'm especially looking for personal opinion about it's scriptural basis, and it's overall tone (e.g. did I pick up on the anger vibe simply because I hold the same anger in my own heart?). I would love to hear from both homemakers and friends who have a professional career. I firmly believe that in the multitude of counselors there is safety.

So, let me know if you have anything to share.